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Chapter 9Routine Business Messages

© 2021 McGraw Hill. All rights reserved. Authorized only for instructor use in the classroom.

No reproduction or further distribution permitted without the prior written consent of McGraw Hill.

Because learning changes everything.®

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Learning Objectives

9.1 Describe how delivering routine messages impacts credibility.

9.2 Describe the process for developing routine business messages.

9.3 Construct task-oriented routine messages, including requests, expectations, directions, responses to inquiries, announcements, and claims.

9.4 Construct relationship-oriented routine messages, including appreciation, apologies, and expressions of sympathy.

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Routine Messages Impact Credibility

Your approach to routine messages influences how others evaluate your:

Responsiveness.

Reliability.

Attention to detail.

Commitment.

Professionalism.

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Developing Routine Messages 1

Routine Messages

Require less time than other business messages.

Still need the writing process of planning, drafting, and reviewing.

Most important step is message development.

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Developing Routine Messages 2

Components

State the primary message (ten words or fewer).

Provide details in paragraphs of 20 to 80 words.

Restate the request or key message in more specific terms.

State goodwill.

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Figure 9.1 The Writing Process for Routine Messages

PLAN: Get the content right.

Identify the exact needs of your audience.

Gather relevant, accurate, and up-to-date information.

Create a front-loaded, direct, complete, and detail-oriented message.

WRITE: Get the delivery right.

Aim for a helpful, professional, reader-centered tone Show respect for your reader’s time.

Apply a concise, easy-to-read, action-oriented style.

Use subject lines and formatting to create a simple navigational design.

REVIEW: Double-check everything.

Get feedback when writing on behalf of a team or unit.

Ensure your message is FAIR.

Make sure to proofread.

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Making Requests 1

Coordinating work efforts.

Buying and selling products and services.

Maintaining work relationships.

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Making Requests 2

Components of Requests

Make request.

Provide rationale.

Call to action.*

State goodwill.

*Optional—appropriate at the end of lengthy messages

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Figure 9.2 Less Effective Routine Request

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Figure 9.3 More Effective Routine Request

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Setting Expectations

Tied to your credibility and ability to foster interpersonal trust in the workplace.

Three Components:

Describing responsibilities.

Providing deadlines.

Discussing coordination.

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Figure 9.4 Less Effective Example of Setting Expectations

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Figure 9.5 More Effective Example of Setting Expectations

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Providing Directions 1

Directions

Typically include specific—often step-by-step—guidelines for accomplishing particular tasks.

In messages with procedures and directions, make the steps stand out clearly by enumerating each one.

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Providing Directions 2

Components of Directions

State goal.

Give step-by-step directions.

State goodwill.

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Figure 9.6 Less Effective Directions

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Figure 9.7 More Effective Directions

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Responding to Inquiries

Tips

Set off each question so your readers can quickly identify responses to particular questions.

Use bullets or numbered lists and/or special formatting.

Components

Provide responses.

State goodwill.

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Figure 9.8a Less Effective Response to an Inquiry

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Figure 9.8b Less Effective Response to an Inquiry

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Figure 9.9 More Effective Response to an Inquiry

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Creating Announcements 1

Announcements are:

Updates to policies and procedures.

Notices of events.

Other correspondences that apply to a group of employees and/or customers.

The subject line must be specific and must create interest.

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Creating Announcements 2

Components

Gain attention.

Give announcement.

Provide details.

Call to action.

State goodwill.

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Figure 9.10 Less Effective Announcement

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Figure 9.11 More Effective Announcement

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Making Claims

Claims

Requests for other companies to compensate for or correct the wrongs or mistakes they have made.

What the claim is.

A rationale for the claim.

A call to action.

Goal is to have your claim honored.

Focus on facts first and emotions second, if at all.

Lay out a logical, reasonable, and professional explanation for your claim.

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Figure 9.12 Less Effective Claim

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Figure 9.13 More Effective Claim

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Showing Appreciation

A sincere expression of thanks:

Helps achieve business goals.

Strengthens work relationships.

Can be formal or informal.

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Figure 9.14 Less Effective Appreciation Message

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Figure 9.15 More Effective Appreciation Message

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Congratulations and Celebrations 1

Congratulation Messages

Reserved for major professional and personal milestones.

Should communicate deep and positive emotion.

Express validation for the milestone.

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Congratulations and Celebrations 2

Components of Congratulation and Celebration Messages

Display happiness, joy, and other positive sentiments.

Validate their accomplishment or milestone.

Express confidence in their future.

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Figure 9.16 A Congratulations Message

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Making Apologies

An apology typically includes the following elements:

Acknowledgment of a mistake or an offense.

An expression of regret for the harm caused.

Acceptance of responsibility.

A commitment that the offense will not be repeated.

Effective apologies should be timely and sincere.

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Figure 9.17 An Apology

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Expressing Sympathy

The foremost requirement of any expression of sympathy is that it be sincere.

When possible, handwrite on a nice card.

Make it personal.

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Business Communication: Developing Leaders for a Networked World, 4e Chapter 9

© 2021 McGraw Hill. All rights reserved. Authorized only for instructor use in the classroom.

No reproduction or further distribution permitted without the prior written consent of McGraw Hill.

Because learning changes everything.®

www.mheducation.com

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Accessibility Content: Text Alternatives for Images

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Figure 9.2 Less Effective Routine Request – Text Alternative

An email is presented, with the title “Software.” This is a nondescriptive subject line.

In the body of the email, the request is difficult to find. The rationale is generic and vague. Also, navigation is challenging: one paragraph of 150 words.

The request reads: Hey Andrea. We need to make some purchases that will help our marketing analysts do their jobs more efficiently. Currently, they use Excel and free social analytics programs to engage in a variety of analysis of our online marketing campaigns. I recommend we purchase more sophisticated statistical software in order for our analysts to create more reliable analysis. This analysis will lead to developing more targeted, effective online campaigns that improve click-through and purchase rates. This will help with customer retention and marketing to prospects. I recommend the purchase of IBM S P S S Modeler. We will need three licenses for our three marketing analysts. In addition, with this investment in the software I recommend we also invest in relatively inexpensive online training so they can make the most of the software Altogether, this will cost approximately $10,000, which will be well worth it. Let me know what you think. Best, Bryan.

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Figure 9.3 More Effective Routine Request Text – Alternative

An email is presented, with the title reading “Purchase of I B M S P S S Modeler for Our Marketing Analysts.” ( The subject line is short, but effective.)

The introductory paragraph reads: Can you provide purchase authorization for statistical software for our three marketing analysts? (The request stated is clear and upfront.)

In the body of the email, the rational is specific and clear. Also, the navigation is easy, as the paragraphs are 14, 60, 59, 58, and 27 words long. The request reads: During the past month, our marketing analysts (Moku Singh, Elissa Morales, and Josh Liebowitz) and I have explored ways to improve the prediction and tracking of online ad campaigns. Over the past few years, the analyst team members have relied primarily on spreadsheets and other basic statistical software. With more complex data than ever, they now need more sophisticated tools. Moku and Josh attended several workshops this past month about using various statistical software packages. They also talked to marketing analysts at other firms about the tools they use. One of their contacts showed them how she improved click-through rates and purchases on several online ad campaigns by more than 40 percent by using predictive modeling and other techniques. After comparing several software packages and learning about training options, Moku and Josh recommend purchasing the following items.

A table depicts the item name, number of items requested, cost, and notes. Three S P S S Modeler Licenses are requested for an amount of $9,399. The note states that the cost is a negotiated discount rate of $3,133 per license. Three S P S S Modeler Online Trainings are requested for an amount of $2,250. The note states that this cost covers a two-day online training at $750 per student. The estimated tax for the license and training is $816. The note states that this is based on a 7.5 percent sales tax. The total amount is $12,465.

The rest of the email reads: Andrea, we're eager to make these purchases and allow the analyst team to begin using these tools. Please let me know if you can authorize these purchases. Thanks, Bryan.

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Figure 9.4 Less Effective Example of Setting Expectations – Text Alternative

The email’s subject line reads: Deadlines. (The subject line reveals little about the expectations.)

In the body of the email, the tone is demanding and bossy, and the navigation is challenging because the deadlines are buried.

The email reads: Hey Barry and John. You two will be our lead team for the following two projects: Jansen Slippers and Forrester Eyeglasses. Tentatively (depending on our discussions with each client over the next week or so and a few other factors), I expect the following deadlines over the next two months. For Jansen, we will present the preliminary concepts to the client on Friday, July 10, 2015. Then, we’ll present initial layout/copy on Wednesday, August 5. We’ll wrap up by completing the final layout/copy by August 21. With Forrester, we are going to present preliminary concepts on Friday, July 17. We’ll do the initial layout and copy on Friday, August 14. We’ll finish the final layout/copy on Wednesday, September 2. We really value these new clients and want to make sure we get repeat business from them, so you two need to step it up and really be on your game. Stop by my office this afternoon at 3 and we’ll talk this over some more. Bryan.

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Figure 9.5 More Effective Example of Setting Expectations – Text Alternative

A graphic highlights the elements of an email that are more effective at setting expectations.

The first paragraph of the email is an effective element because the expectations are stated clearly and immediately. It reads: Hi Barry and John, We have just secured two new accounts: Forrester Eyeglasses and Jansen Slippers. You two will form our lead creative team on these promising accounts. I recommended you for these accounts to the executive management team due to your excellent past work on fashion and clothing accounts.

The body of the email has the responsibilities and deadlines are displayed. It reads: Tentatively, I expect the following deadlines over the next two months: Action/Deadline. Preliminary Concepts Presented to Jansen (F) July 10. Preliminary Concepts Presented to Forrester (F) July 17. Initial Layout/Copy Presented to Jansen (W) August 5. Initial Layout/Copy Presented to Forrester (F) August 14. Final Layout/Copy Completed for Jansen (F) August 21. Final Layout/Copy Completed for Forrester (W) September 2.”

The email is an effective element because coordination is to be addressed. Also, the tone is positive and upbeat. It concludes, “I would like to stop by your offices later this afternoon to discuss priorities for these clients. Can we meet in Barry’s office at 3 p.m.? If that doesn't work, how about 4 p.m. today? Let me know which time works best for you. Bryan.”

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Figure 9.6 Less Effective Directions – Text Alternative

An email is presented with its subject line reading “Travel.” This is less effective as the subject line is not descriptive.

The body of the email is a less effective element because the tone is careless and sloppy. Also, the use of passive voice makes the message impersonal. It reads: The process is fairly simple. Once there is a determination that the trip is necessary (I’ve determined that already), a T/A is required. The form should be filled out and signed by your direct supervisor. Then, the form should be taken to HR. It will then be sent directly to our travel agency and you will be contacted about setting up your trip. After the trip, any receipts need to be turned in to HR and reimbursement generally takes about 10 days. Hope this helps.

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Figure 9.7 More Effective Directions – Text Alternative

The title of the email is “Procedures for Setting Up Travel.”

The email body’s directions are specific and clear, and the tone is professional and helpful. It reads: John, For complete details, go to the Travel section of the Human Resources intranet portal. You will immediately find all policies and forms that you need. Here are the basic steps pasted directly from the H R intranet portal with several comments from me inserted in italics. 1. Complete a “Travel Authorization” (T/A) form with approval signature from your immediate supervisor. (I’m the supervisor. You can get the latest T/A form off the H R intranet portal at the following link: T/A Form.) 2. Submit the T/A to Human Resources (H R). H R will forward it directly to our designated travel agency. (Our current designated travel agency is Dawson Travel.) 3. An agent from the travel agency will contact you directly and develop your trip itinerary with you. The travel agency will bill Smith & Smith directly for your airfare, accommodations, and car rentals. (You should do this right away. You may be able to choose an airline that you have frequent flier miles with if you can book far enough in advance. If you book within two weeks of the travel, you are required to use discount airlines.) 4. After completing your trip, turn in receipts for incidental expenses to H R. You will be reimbursed for these expenses and receive a daily stipend to cover meals. (Make sure to review the company policies so you know which incidental expenses are covered and how much your daily stipend will be.) This should get you started. For questions about filling out the T/A, you’ll get more help from HR. As soon as you get the T/A form filled in, just let me know and I’ll sign it right away. Bryan.

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Figure 9.8a Less Effective Response to an Inquiry – Text Alternative

The title of the email is “Questions about Advertising.”

This is an example of an email inquiry. It reads: Hi Bryan, I contacted Andrea Johansen about developing some ads. She recommended that I contact you directly. Basically, I'm interested in pricing for various advertising options. You've probably seen our used sports equipment stores around town. We've decided to change our business model and devote half of our retail space to new sports equipment. Anyway, we want to get the word out. We've always developed in-house advertising which I think has been amateurish. Of course, we don't have a big budget. So, we want quality advertising but we're concerned about pricing. How do your rates compare to other advertising agencies? Do you have any specialists in online advertising? What about with social media? When could we meet and talk about what you might provide us? Thanks a lot. Joel

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Figure 9.8b Less Effective Response to an Inquiry – Text Alternative

The title of the email is “Re: Questions about Advertising.”

The email body is an ineffective response to an inquiry because the author uses one paragraph to answer all of the question. It reads: Hello Joel: Thanks for getting in touch with us here at Smith and Smith. Answers to all of your questions can be found on our website (Smith and Smith website). Generally, you'll find that our rates are extremely competitive with other agencies. More important, we have a great record of return on investment and help you track this figure. Also, our agency has been at the forefront of all forms of online advertising and marketing for the past fifteen years. We have been instrumental in helping small companies rapidly grow their revenues and expand. See the following web page about our online advertising with examples of our work: Smith and Smith online advertising and social media. We can meet at a time and place convenient for you. This week I'm available from 2 to 4 on Tuesday, 9 to 11:30 on Wednesday, and in the morning or afternoon on Thursday. Please let me know a time that is best for you. Bryan

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Figure 9.9 More Effective Response to an Inquiry – Text Alternative

The title of the email is “Responses to Your Questions; Setting Up a Time to Meet.”

The email body is an effective response to an inquiry because it has specific responses to all questions and because navigation is easy. It reads: Hello Joel: Thanks for getting in touch with us here at Smith and Smith. I suggest that we meet in person so we can learn more about your marketing and advertising needs. After we talk for 15 to 30 minutes, I could give you a good idea of what your options are and whether our agency is a good fit for you. Our website (Smith and Smith website) has answers to each of your questions. I've responded briefly below with links to our website for more information.

The writer skips a line and writes in bold: How do your rates compare to other advertising agencies? The write again skips a line and writes: Our rates are extremely competitive with other agencies. More important, we have a great record of return on investment and help you track this figure. We also specialize in building brands, which is particularly important in your case since you are adjusting your business model to include new sports equipment. See the following web page with ten case studies of our clients and the returns they received on their advertising: Smith & Smith case studies.

The writer again skips a line and writes in bold: Do you have any specialists in online advertising? What about in social media? The writer again skips a line and writes: Yes. Our agency has been at the forefront of all forms of online advertising and marketing for the past 15 years. We have been instrumental in helping small companies rapidly grow their revenues and expand. See the following web page about our online advertising with examples of our work: Smith & Smith online advertising and social media. The writer again skips a line and writes in bold: When could we meet and talk about what you might provide us? The writer skips a line and writes: At a time and place convenient for you. I would be more than happy to visit your office. I am available during the following times this week: Tuesday: 2 p.m. to 4 p.m. Wednesday: 9 a.m. to 11:30 a.m. Thursday: 9 a.m. to 11:30 a.m., 2 p.m. to 4 p.m. Please let me know a time that is best for you. You can call directly anytime. Bryan.

Underneath Bryan’s name is his email signature with his full name, job title, work affiliation, and contact information.

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Figure 9.10 Less Effective Announcement – Text Alternative

The body of an email is presented. It is a less effective element because information is incomplete (missing key dates) and difficult to read. Also, the tone lacks enough enthusiasm.

The email reads: On behalf of the Committee for Technology, I’m sharing several new policies that impact employees at S and S. We deliberated carefully about these new policies to meet our stated objectives of making computing more accessible and convenient for employees while also safeguarding information systems security for our advertising firm. These policies will go into effect in the next week. All these policies relate to using your own devices for work. The first set of B Y O D policies makes mobile computing easier for employees. Employees who use their own mobile phones for work can receive reimbursement for up to $75 per month for voice and data plans (previously this was capped at $30 per month). We felt that this amount more accurately reflected the costs many employees incur for voice and data on behalf of the firm. Also, several policies directly address the major expenses of owning your own computers that you use for work. S and S will reimburse employees for up to $1,200 per year for desktop computers, laptops, tablets, or other mobile computer devices used primarily for work purposes. The great news is that any unused money will roll over for use in the following year. Finally, S and S must use a new ticketing system through the HelpDesk for all requests. There will also be new security measures. We’ve learned that many of our S and S resources and information are vulnerable to attacks. These new policies will be minimally inconvenient for employees yet make substantial improvements to our security. All devices—including mobile phones—are now required to have a log-in. Also, employees will need to update their log-in passwords to the S and S intranet every six months. Your supervisors will continue updating you about the new policies, and you can read all B Y O D and computing policies on the intranet.

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Figure 9.11 More Effective Announcement – Text Alternative

The body of an email is presented. This is an effective element because the information is complete and easy to process. Most readers will recognize all essential information within 15 seconds. The rational is clear and concise. Finally, the tone is positive and helpful.

The email reads: Beginning on July 1, 2015, several new B Y O D policies will go into effect to provide employees with more mobile and home computing options and ensure better security for Smith and Smith. These new policies were developed by a committee comprised of I T managers and account executives. The policies were approved by the executive team on June 19, 2015. New Policies to Support Mobile and Home Computing. Reimbursement for voice/data plans: Employees who use their own mobile phones for work can receive reimbursement for up to $75 per month for voice and data plans (previously this was capped at $30 per month). Reimbursement for mobile and home computers: S and S will reimburse employees for up to $1,200 per year for desktop computers, laptops, tablets, or other mobile computer devices used primarily for work purposes. Any unused money will roll over for use in the following year. I T Support: S and S employees must use a new ticketing system through the Help Desk for all requests. I T support will now be available Monday through Saturday, 8 a.m. to 7 p.m.. New Security Policies. Log-in on all devices: All devices—including mobile phones—are now required to have a log-in. S and S intranet password updates: Employees will need to update their log-in passwords to the S and S intranet every six months. Passwords must contain at least eight characters and must include at least one letter, one number, and one special character. Your supervisors will continue updating you about the new policies. Also, you can read all B Y O D and computing policies in the “Computing” section located on your S and S dashboard.

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Figure 9.12 Less Effective Claim – Text Alternative

An email is presented. It is less effective because its tone is accusatory and demanding.

The email reads: Hello Jeff: I’m quite frustrated that we made an annual agreement with you at a rate of $124 per night for our employees that you have not honored. Within the past two months, two of our employees have stayed at the Prestigio for a total of 15 nights at a rate of $169. By my calculations, you overcharged us by $675. In addition, there should be a minor adjustment for taxes that we paid on a higher rate. Please take care of this matter immediately by refunding us the overpaid amount. Thanks a lot. Bryan.

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Figure 9.13 More Effective Claim – Text Alternative

An email is presented. It makes a claim through its subject line, which reads “Credit to Smith & Smith Advertising Due to Overbilling for Hotel Stays.” It also makes a claim through its opening: Hello Jeff: Could you apply credits to our account with the Prestigio to offset overbilling on several recent stays by our employees?

Rational for the claim is provided. This is shown through the January 2015 Prestigio Hotel Agreement document attached to the email. It is also shown in the body of the email, which reads: Within the past two months, two of our employees have stayed at the Prestigio for a total of 15 nights at a charged rate of $169 per night. You will recall that we negotiated a standard rate of $124 per night for calendar year 2015 (I’ve attached our agreement for your reference). By my calculations, we were overcharged by $675. In addition, there should be a minor adjustment for taxes that we paid on a higher rate. Could you send me the exact figure that you will credit to our account?

Goodwill is stated through the email’s conclusion, which reads: Thanks a lot. Our employees always appreciate staying at your fine hotel. Best wishes, Bryan.

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Figure 9.14 Less Effective Appreciation Message – Text Alternative

An email is presented. It shows excessive and exaggerated thanks. Also, the tone is self-centered and self-congratulatory.

The email reads: Hi you guys, I think you did a fabulous job on the aviary project! I just got off the phone with Ana Galleraga, and we talked about how successful these ads have been. I found out that participation in the aviary’s special education programs has increased dramatically. I was able to secure a verbal commitment for us to do their next digital advertising campaign. I feel fortunate to work with such a great group of people. I think you are all the best! I knew you were the right team for this project. To show my appreciation for you, I’ve made reservations for lunch this Friday at Harper’s Steakhouse. This is my favorite steakhouse in town and I think all of you will love it! Thank you again for being so fantastic! Bryan.

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Figure 9.15 More Effective Appreciation Message – Text Alternative

The email gives thanks. It reads: Hi George, Dan, Jen, and Ryan: Thanks for your excellent work on the aviary project! The billboard and radio campaigns you created are a huge success.

Rationale is provided in the body of the email, which reads: Ana Galleraga from the aviary just called. Everyone at the aviary love. More importantly, the ads are drawing much higher participation in all community educational programs. Overall attendance has grown more than 30 percent since the campaign started. Ana explained how much she enjoyed working with each of you. She was impressed with your ability to generate creative concepts that were relatable to parents and kids. She’d like our team to work in their next digital campaign.

Goodwill is stated by the phrase “lunch is on the agency” in the conclusion of the email: Let’s celebrate! I’ve made reservations for this Friday – lunch is on the agency. See details: Location: Harper’s Steakhouse on 451 South Main Street. Time: Friday, June 26 at noon. Thanks again! Bryan.

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Figure 9.16 A Congratulations Message – Text Alternative

Message is titled Smith and Smith Advertising. Congratulations on your new role.

From Bryan Atkins Monday July 25, 2020

To Sandy Carter

Dear Sandy, Congratulations on receiving a director role at D G S. This offer doesn’t surprise me in the least. You have succeeded in every campaign you’ve led here. Your leadership skills and strategic vision are exactly what are needed for a director role. I’m so happy for you. (Expresses validation for the milestone.)

I expect you’ll make an immediate impact at D G S. Keep up the great work! (shows confidence in Sandy’s future success.)

Of course we’ll miss you tremendously here at Smith and Smith. Thank you for all the work you’ve done here. But mostly, thank you for your constant encouragement and friendship.

Best wishes in your new adventure!

Bryan

(Tone is positive, joyful, yet appropriately bittersweet, and forward looking. Displays emotion throughout the message.)

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Figure 9.17 An Apology – Text Alternative

Effective elements of this apology include the following:

The message acknowledges the mistake in its opening paragraphs, which read: Good morning, everyone. I want to take just a few moments to apologize. Last Friday in our executive management meeting, I made several unfair comments. I complained that several of you care more about our clients than you do about our employees. I also said that you ask our employees to work excessive hours on weekends and evenings because you are never willing to say ‘no’ to our clients, even when they make unreasonable demands.

The message includes a statement of regret, which reads: These statements were inaccurate and unfair. I have known each of you for many years, and I am certain that all of you care deeply about our employees.

The message includes a statement of responsibility, which reads: Over the weekend, I thought about my comments a lot. I am frustrated that we—myself included—give in to unreasonable demands from a few of our clients. I think we end up putting too much stress on our employees as a result. I am sorry that I misdirected my frustration with the demands of our clients at all of you.

Finally, the message includes a commitment to avoid such behavior in the future and approach frustrations constructively. This commitment reads: At some point, I hope we can discuss how to negotiate with our clients when we view their demands as unreasonable. For my part, I will avoid any blaming. I would certainly like to hear your experiences, perspectives, and suggestions.

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